Dooommmmm….daaaddd….arrrggghhh…aaaaaaaahhhhhhh

No … no … no… you have guessed it wrong ….. these are not the scenes from a war movie, neither are these scenes from any volcanic eruption or earth-quake shakes….. these are the voices that are coming from my bed room….. aaayyyeee.. you dirty minds, its not that type of voices… simply I am being thrashed…. For a very small error I made…. I did not delete the cookies and history of my internet explorer…… and my wife … yeah now you are right in your guess……

Now she wonders and seeks googles help to find what to do with a hubby like me, well I know she is wasting time as even the yahoo answers.com is unable to find answers for cases like me… I am dead sure about my “such” in born abilities….

Aaahhh.. my dear buddies, I was so wrong…..  how could I forget that she is a pati-vrata naari who can do anything with her eternal shakti she had inherited from Mata Sita. Well her belief was when the body can be repaired and ratified why not the mind….. When you can control the fat tummy with diet, her precise thanks and gratitude to PoetBitterSweet and his melons blog, why can’t you control your thoughts and “diet” them to be pure and clean…… and that’s where the opening lines of this blog originated !!!!!

My Ftv channel got erased somehow and was replaced with Astha channel….. and now I had just a single option to watch the gymnastic and swimming events at sports channel to let my eyes survive the drought they had been under-going….

I sat with my eyes closed….. as I had been advised (ordered is more appropriate here) to meditate …… but my lips and face expressions deceived me….. and my wife could judge from my smile and my tongue movement in my mouth, what I was meditating upon….. And some metallic item hit just below the left eye….. a bone in disguise….. at least now I had the reason why my eye winked at inappropriate times……

Back to my dietary course of thoughts….. Well I had to undergo the rigorous sermons by the saints and I wondered how well they have learnt to face the camera…. They even beat the best jockeys of  MTV……  I wish I could get access to the Osho’s ashram some how. And soon she found my spiritualism bent towards the Osho’s sermons and his Books…

In one of her attempts she took me to the garden for deep inhaling-exhaling exercises so that my mind could shun the so called bad ideas…… and during the inhaling process, sweet fragrance of some “flower” permeated through my nostrils and made my neck turn towards the origin of the fragrance, though my eyes were still closed…… At a public place I had the faith of not getting thrashed by my wife….. how wrong I was , she innocently stepped on my hands while I sat in the padam assan……. Aahh, I got the warning and my neck turned to right angle from the obtuse one…… Opening my eyes I could see the melons of all sizes, oval, longish, plump (PBS is responsible for such description, not me)  ……. I saw a bunch of girls jogging and passing right in front of me….. the origin of fragrance and the secret behind the involuntary movement of my neck descended into my mind now…..

My poor wifey…. She tried the T.V. channels, the sermons and the morning exercises to clean my thought process, but all her efforts had be thwarted by my “XXX” obsessive mind.

The last thing she could do was to give me “satvik” diet so that such “Tamsick” thoughts do not enter my mind…. She gave me the salads with the most beautiful toppings of green leaves, the onions and cucumber sliced in the most beautiful ways and the cherries and dhaniya placed in the best ways to make them appear beautiful….. As I sat to have them, my wife saw the naughty curve on my eye brows and the bloody smile on my lips…. My blinking and shining eyes confirmed her doubts…. Seeing the shapes and figures of the salad pieces, my naughty mind had ……oooooooopppppppssssss……

Now my wife could also not help smiling at my ever fertile mind and my creative thinking ….. the steel of my fantasy nerves which always said never say die….. I could perceive those sinful oval shapes in the salad too……

My wife had tried everything on me and now is planning to get my DNA tested to find something alien in me for my ever naughty , hot and horny mind.

Poor wife…. My sympathies are always with you for making all those efforts !!!!!!